Talking to relatives - the first step in family history research
- wardgem
- Oct 29
- 2 min read
Updated: Nov 7

Your journey into family history often begins with stories – the feuds, the mysteries, tragedies, black sheep, long-lost relatives, celebrations and wartime adventures passed down through generations. That’s why it’s best to start your research with the people in your family rather than the records. Older relatives may hold memories of events, relationships, and family tensions that don’t appear anywhere in official documents. They may be the link to ancestors long dead – perhaps they met these ancestors when they were young. They can help unlock photographs – not just names but the personalities of family members.
Questions and Themes
Names, personalities, occupations of parents and grandparents
Oldest relative/s you remember - names, personalities, occupations, deaths, when/how did you meet them
Any famous/infamous relatives in the family
Any relatives you lost contact with? Who and why? What do you think happened to them?
Earliest memories
Home life - household chores, did you share a room, why did you move house
Leisure - favourite toys or hobbies
School experience - subjects, ambitions, leaving age, teachers, friends
Treasured possessions
Trips or holidays = where, how often, with who
Family life - typical family dinner, typical day, rivalries or bonds
How were celebrations like Christmas or weddings celebrated? Who attended? Where was it held? How different from today?
Family naming traditions - are they still followed
How has your hometown changed from when you were young
Wartime experiences - did any relatives serve (or die) in the two world wars?
Local connections - neighbours, employers or local figures
Were there any tough times - illness or difficult circumstances? How did the family cope?
Let conversations flow naturally — one memory often leads to another. Even small details, like a nickname or the story behind a photograph, can bring family history to life in ways records alone never could.